Day 39 — I made myself laugh with a sentence about karma.
THU
Something happened today.
Sometimes karma takes longer than normal to make it all the way around. Not because you are not worth it, but because it is battling headwinds.
I loved the image immediately.
Not because I had suddenly developed a scientific theory of karma involving prevailing winds. It was comforting because it took a very human fear and gave it a picture.
We do good things quietly sometimes. We try. We help. We choose not to be cruel when cruelty would be easy. We keep going when nobody seems to notice. And because we are human, some part of us looks around for evidence that any of it mattered.
Where is the return?
Where is the sign?
Did the universe even get the memo?
That is when doubt creeps in. Maybe none of this matters. Maybe kindness disappears into the air. Maybe the good thing you did went nowhere.
Then I pictured karma out there somewhere trying to make the turn and getting hammered by a Nova Scotia headwind.
Well, okay then.
That I understand.
Headwinds are real. You can be doing everything right and still move slowly. A cyclist knows that. A boat knows that. Anybody who has tried to carry a sheet of plywood across a yard on the wrong day knows that.
The joke softened the fear without trying to prove anything.
That mattered.
I did not have to turn karma into a metaphysical fact. I did not need a cosmic accounting department. The image simply gave my brain another option besides, Nothing matters because I cannot see the result yet.
Maybe some results are slow.
Maybe some results never return to me at all.
Maybe the kindness matters somewhere I do not get to observe.
And maybe the joke itself is the treat.
There are times when humor does not help us escape reality. It helps us stay inside it without being crushed by the weight of needing certainty.
Karma battling headwinds.
I can live with that picture.
I have battled enough of them myself.
