Doggie Treats for the Soul

How I discovered a way out of lifelong depression

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Book

•4 min read

Day 13 — My intuition behaved like a tuning knob

SAT Something happened today We were searching for words to describe something I often recognize before I can explain it. I will read a suggestion and feel that it is close, but not quite the thing I’m reaching for. The next attempt brings a little more of it into focus. I began comparing the process […]

•5 min read

Day 12 — I realized I was looking for aliveness, not happiness.

FRI Something happened today At seventy-two, mortality is not an abstract concept. I do not say that morbidly. It is simply arithmetic. My life is singular. The years are finite. There is something in me that keeps asking: If I am going to die, then let me find something in this life that brings me […]

•5 min read

Day 11 — The question loneliness was asking

THU Something happened today People who did not need to shut down a question because it had become uncomfortable or complicated. I had spent much of my life wanting someone to stay in the room with the question. If I said, Life seems full of paradoxes, I did not want, Well, everybody is different. If […]

•5 min read

Day 10 — Loneliness stopped being only a problem.

WED Something happened today A few days before some of these conversations, I had been deeply lonely. The question in my head was familiar: How do I make this stop? That question makes perfect sense. Pain asks for relief. Put your hand on a hot stove and your nervous system does not suggest a philosophical […]

•4 min read

Day 9 — The second ride changed what the first ride meant

TUE Something happened today As I continued thinking about that hitchhiking trip, I saw that my judgment of the first lift kept changing as the story unfolded. At the moment I accepted it I could not know what would happen next. Looking backward, I could see a sequence of opportunities, but that knowledge was unavailable […]

•5 min read

Day 8 — Learning to hold two truths at once

MON Something happened today The same thing may happen inside a human life. I had spent a lot of time treating contradictions like court cases. Which side wins? Which feeling is legitimate? Which version of me is the real one? Then a better question appeared: How do these apparently opposite truths fit together? I loved […]

•5 min read

Day 7 — I stopped asking which side was right.

SUN Something happened today I had been gaining a lot of insights, but one of the most important was this: Life and the universe are full of paradoxes as a natural state. Our brains do not seem to like that very much. We want things clean. True or false. Good or bad. Success or failure. […]

•4 min read

Day 6 — The first ride was an improvement, not a solution

SAT Something happened today I remembered a time when I was hitchhiking into town to collect my car. I had a backup plan and I was reluctant to surrender it, because the first lift being offered would carry me only three kilometres. Accepting it meant moving farther from the safety of the car I had […]

•4 min read

Day 5 — Some insights need time to grow

FRI Something happened today It could sit quietly in the pocket like a coin you forget you are carrying until one day you need it. That took pressure off the whole process. I did not need to harvest every field the moment I saw green. I could let something grow. This became important because once […]

•5 min read

Day 4 — The little treat turned into a stew bone.

THU Something happened today Not every discovery disappears after the first bite. Some of them stay with you. You turn them over later. You remember them while driving. They reappear in another conversation. Something happens three days later and suddenly the earlier thought has another meaning. That needed a different name. A doggy treat was […]